Category: distractions

NaNoWriMo Day 9: The Devil is Driving Me

download-1I kicked butt yesterday and pounded out nearly six thousand words, so I’m all caught up according to the NaNoWriMo website. They have a nifty graph there that shows how you’re doing. I’m floating just above the line, so I’m barely above average, just like my grades in school. I’m trying to resist allowing this to make me slack off for a while.

It’s hard to write today. I’m distracted by the national news and trying to adjust to a new reality. I would venture to say I’m in shock to a certain degree. Disappointed in my state and even more so in my country. I want to believe that this doesn’t mean that hate won, but I have that same sick feeling I used to get when the bullies triumphed in high school. I fear for our country and worry about the message this sends the world about how seriously we take our role in it. Enough said. I wasn’t going to write a word about it. I have to let it go or it will ruin my days. I’m just so heart-sick about all of it.

I am trying not to dwell on the sadness, but the rain isn’t helping. My first thought when I woke was, “God is crying.” Really. I haven’t thought like that since I was a little kid.

Pushing it aside. Cramming it down in that space behind my computer monitor where things get lost forever and I forget about them. There. That’s where I put it.

Instead, I’m gonna write. I’m gonna pound out some serious wordage, lose myself in my story which is much happier and more hopeful than I feel. I need my story to be my world. I won’t visit facebook at all. Too many gloating people there. I’ll stick with twitter where I found so much solidarity last night as I watched the returns.

Stop it. Let it go. Let it go. What’s the next line? No matter. I’m gonna write. Hang out with Kat and Dylan and Mac and Gweneth. What do you think of my names? I always change most of them by the time the first draft is done, but I like this bunch so far. We’ll see.

NaNoWriMo Day 4: Not a Word, Not One Word

Today is the first day that I’m worried there will be no writing. And not because I’m delaying or distracted, but simply because there isn’t a solid block of time available to me. It takes me so long to get going that if I’m only going to be interrupted or pulled away after fifteen minutes, I don’t even try. When I’m interrupted, I’ll be annoyed and when I return to the page I won’t have any idea where I was going with it and I’ll be pissed at the kid/animal/appointment for sabotaging (unintentionally I know, I know) my story.

Better not to start in the first place. Instead, write a blog post! Blog posts can be scattered and fragmented and no one minds. (well, maybe they do mind, but they HAVE NO POWER over me and there’s nothing they can do about it, is there? It’s not like they can demand their money back. After all, this is me giving away my writing FOR FREE which is what everyone expects, right? I mean, who pays full price for a book anymore? Why would you do that? It’s not like anybody’s crazy enough to think they could make a living writing books. No, they write for fun. Writing’s not a real job. Oh wait? Did I say all that out loud? Sorry. Back to the blog post….)

Today is consumed by the 12 puppies I’ve been fostering for the last 8 weeks. Today is Gotcha Day – the day the puppies go home with their adopters. It’s actually Gotcha weekend as five leave today, four tomorrow and the last three straggle out next week, assuring that I’ll get very little done this weekend as I try to soak up the last hours with these pups and console myself with chocolate and wine after they go.

Even though I can’t spend quality time with my keyboard, the story is coming out my pores. It’s making me distracted and anxious. I want to be sure I catch all of it. I’m scribbling notes on scraps of paper, my to-do list, my phone, and the edges of the puppy paperwork. I feel like it’s flying at me faster than usual, but maybe that’s because I’m forcing myself to spit it out in one month.

I try very hard not to write when I’m not writing. I try not to envision too much in my head because when I finally sit down to write, it never comes out as good as I imagined it. Alan Watt (of the 90-day novel) uses the phrase “hold it loosely” to describe how you should handle your story. He refers to having a plan, an outline even, but then holding it loosely and not being bound to it. It’s the same way I carry the eggs down from the barn when I forge the egg basket. I fill my pockets and hold the rest loosely in my hands– careful not to drop them, but not holding them so tightly that I crack them. Holding things loosely is my style, and I’m never quite sure what will come out when I finally sit down to write. I find if I have a definite idea then it’s less likely that any magic will happen.

That’s my plan this weekend. I’m holding it loosely and giving in to the distractions of puppies and wine and possibly the last warm sunny weekend of the fall. The keyboard will be waiting on Monday.

UPDATE: Days 4, 5, AND 6 and still NO writing. A tiny panic is flickering at the back of my mind.

 

NaNoWriMo Day 2: Finding distractions anywhere I can

clean-desk
This isn’t really my desk. But I wish it was. It’s a nice desk. Nothing to distract me but whatever weird thing that is in the pot there.

So, I’m doing this crazy NaNoWriMo thing. Yes. Yes I am.

(for those of you who are uninitiated, this means I’ve pledged to write a novel in one month, this month specifically.)

This is day two and once again I’m finding every reason not to sit down and write. Yesterday I spent a good twenty minutes voting on the goodreads awards before cleaning out my inbox and then tidying my desk. I reasoned that I didn’t want anything hanging over my head or distracting me. (As if twelve puppies in the room next door isn’t distraction enough.)

Finally, I opened my WIP (Work in Progress) which had stalled out at about 33,000 words last May. When I say stalled out, I mean I ran out of time for it because there were these other people who stopped going off to school every day and had taken over my house. The story was still raring to go and nagging at me every morning when I ran.

I think my reluctance to open now is little teenage rebellion of sorts. Since I have to write, I didn’t want to write. Normally, I love to write. I can’t wait to write. I’m annoyed at people who keep me from writing. But now, with the NaNoWriMo clock ticking, I resist. Why do I have to write? Really—noone’s holding a gun to my head.

I looked at where I’d left off. There was a note to myself about a loose end I’d left unattended, so I scrolled back a few pages to fix that and in just that little moment, I was back in the story and writing and writing and writing until Addie walked in my office and asked me to help her with something. I felt kind of stunned by the interruption. Not sure what time it was or what day it was or what she was doing home. I hadn’t had a writing jag like that since….since…..since I started this story back in May and vowed to finish it over the summer.

And now this morning, here I am, delaying, delaying, delaying. Writing this post instead of working on my NaNoWriMo WIP (how’s that for a mouthful?). I’m rationalizing. I wrote 3300 words yesterday. That’s, like, two days’ worth isn’t it? So maybe I can take a day off. Except it’s only the second day.

I think this is going to be a long month.

UPDATE: Day three is upon me and I’ve written 8, 740 words. I am rocking this baby. (but there is still a daily battle and I can’t possibly keep up this pace. )