My Life in Paragraphs

Be Here Now

I’ve been thinking a lot about living intentionally.

Partially because ten years ago I wrote a book called, Live Intentionally.

I’ve thought about updating it and releasing a ten-year anniversary book. As I’ve read back through some of it, I see a glimpse of who I was and how clearly I have grown. I’m still just as much an idealist. I still believe in people and their power to improve their lives through intentionality.

Much of what I wrote I still practice. But the world is different now. Incredibly different! There was no ‘social media’ then, at least not in the form it is now. Facebook was out there, but the internet was not on every phone. There was no organic aisle in the grocery store, and most people had no concept of what ‘grass-fed’ meant, and keeping chickens or hanging your clothes on a line to dry was not a hip thing to do. (Not sure those things are hip now either, but at least a lot more people are doing them.)

This year I’ve returned to my focus of living intentionally every day – not just what I eat or read or watch, but how I think, treat people, react to news, and decide how to spend my time. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been setting daily intentions and sharing them on Facebook and Instagram. Here are a few from this week:

They provide an anchor for my day. I’ve been reading farther and wider, consuming podcasts on mindset, refocusing on how I care for my body, and giving my mind and heart more space and quiet to consider what really matters moment by moment. More than anything I’ve been trying to stay present.

Recently, I heard a concept called ‘day-tight compartments’ originally a principle promoted by Dale Carnegie to combat worry. The idea is that you stay in today, and don’t let what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow affect how you are today.

Many of us let regrets from our past follow us, bringing with them shame, guilt, sadness, hurt, and fear. We experience it over and over. I replay conversations and actions in my head, often wishing I’d done something (or someone else had) differently. I’ll follow the what ifs down a rabbit hole only to emerge freshly disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, and realize it changes nothing.

The same with worrying. I’m a mom, so it comes with the territory, right? My youngest parroted something back to me that I used to have as a mantra – No sense in wasting emotion on something that hasn’t happened yet. Why feel sadness/fear/anger about something that might happen—if it doesn’t you’ve experienced sadness/fear/anger for no reason. And if it does, you can feel those things then.

Stay present in your daytight container. Seal that lid tight like a Tupperware container and stay inside it. Be here now. Listen to the people in front of you. Feel whatever is in your heart in response to what is happening right now. You can’t change what’s already happened or control what might. Don’t squander your present.

Dogs are a great reminder of this philosophy. They are always in the moment. Reacting and reveling in what is happening now. Gracie never worries about how angry I’ll be that she rolled in the dead possum/rabbit poop/unidentifiable stink, she just enjoys her time rolling and stinking in the moment. Otis never considers that last week when he stood barking for ten minutes at the neighbors having a BBQ, I dragged him back to the house and left him inside alone, he barks his heart out anew. Clearly, enjoying the sound of his voice.

Sure, we should learn from what has happened in the past. But that doesn’t mean now isn’t a new scenario, one that is best experienced fresh with no assumptions that what has happened before will happen again. Give this moment, right now, your energy, your focus. Don’t let regret or worry color it.

Keep your eyes open and your ears available. The possibilities are endless if you’re open to the possibilities. Make room in your heart for now.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

My latest novel, Blind Turn is a mother-daughter story of forgiveness in the aftermath of a fatal texting and driving accident. Learn more about it and find out how to get your copy here.

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my occasional e-newsletter, click here.

And If you’re a dog lover, check out my other blog, Another Good Dog. And if you want to know what is really happening in the animal shelters in this country, visit, Who Will Let the Dogs Out.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, twitter, or Instagram, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.

My book, 100 Dogs & Counting: One Woman, Ten Thousand Miles, and a Journey Into the Heart of Shelters and Rescues is available anywhere books are sold, but if you’d like some help finding it (or want to read some lovely reviews), click here.

Today is a Great Day To…

I don’t know about you, but winter is hard.

I struggle when the days are gray and cold and I can’t be outside enough. This year, my winter was better for a number of reasons, but the one thing that got me through was getting outside every single day, even when the weather was crappy.

For Christmas, I got the book The Open Air Life by Linda Akeson McGurk. It’s a beautiful gifty book that probably could have been a long article, but it did inspire me to get outside by reminding me that there’s no excuse, you just need the right gear/attire.

So I layered and bundled up and started walking, and eventually running up the dirt roads near our house. The roads wobble up and down and side to side, along cow pastures, farms, and a few homes. I’ve gotten to know them well and I’m on a first name basis with a few of the cows (number 10 and number 545 are my favorites).

Impact Hour

I listen to podcasts or audiobooks pretty much every day – while walking, doing puzzles, or driving (three activities I seem to spend a lot of time doing).

I’ve gotten addicted to a podcast called Primal Potential. I found it because I was trying to figure out how to lose the menopause/COVID/drinking-too-much-wine-weight that is not going away even though two out of those three causes have.

A Game of Inches

I was recently reminded of the value of taking little steps to achieve a big goal. If you’re a football fan, you are probably familiar with the phrase, “It’s a game of inches,” made popular by a screaming Al Pacino in the 1999 film, Any Given Sunday.

I truly believe that writing is also a game of inches. That’s how I wrote my very first novel. I had no idea what I was doing and it would be another ten years before that book actually became a published novel, but I started by simply telling myself to write a few paragraphs every day.

Writing a book seemed impossible, even writing a chapter, but a paragraph? I could do that.

Did You Make It?

It’s down to the wire now on my Goodreads goal. How about you- will you make it?

Last year, I upped my Goodreads goal number to 100 books this year. (and for those of you uninitiated, if you are on goodreads, you can set an annual goal and Goodreads will track your progress all year, letting you know if you’re on track to reach your goal).

I raised my goal this year because I wanted to challenge myself to read more and mess around on my phone less. I’ve still got six books to go, but I’ve got three weeks (and four books in progress) so it seems doable.

Choosing Your Own World

On Wednesday I attended a book fair at our local community college to represent and sell my books.

I have to tell you that as a writer, these experiences are the worst and the best. The worst being the preparation (packing, finding everything, schlepping it all over there) and then sitting there hoping people will stop at my table. Many people hurry by, averting their eyes, or smiling apologetically, making me feel like a sleezy salesman pushing overpriced, cheap products.

I feel awkward, uncomfortable, ridiculous, and I pretty much always tell myself I’m never doing this again. The handful of sales I’ll make are never worth the time and torture. And really, why do I have to do it? Will it make any difference in the big scheme of things? Will it make or break my ‘success’ as a writer? ~~Probably~~ definitely not.

But then there are moments that remind me of the best part of writing. A little girl, probably 10 or 11, appeared in front of my table with twinkly eyes and a shy smile. “I found you!” she said.

Getting My Sparkly Back

Lackluster.

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

Maybe it’s my age. At fifty-six (fifty-six!), I’m feeling what everyone probably feels at this age—past my prime.

Everything is harder.

My Little Free Library Dream

My dream came true.

I am now a steward of a Little Free Library!

In An Instant

In all my years of living in the country, driving skinny back roads through the woods and past expansive cornfields, dodging deer and the occasional ground hog, I’d never actually hit an animal.

Until this past Wednesday.

In fact, miraculously (and not to jinx them) no one in my family had ever hit a deer. So maybe we were due.