PAUSE. BREATHE. Don’t Respond.

“PAUSE. BREATHE. Don’t Respond.”

This is a sticky note I have pasted to the top of my computer screen. I try to focus on it when I’m on zoom calls or when I read something on social media and feel the irrational urge to SCREAM AT PEOPLE (or cry).

Victory Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

I am not a person who can contain my feelings or naturally take the high road.

But I want to be.

I’ve learned the hard way, too many times, how my initial, often passionate, response to people can ultimately hurt. And right now, our world has plenty of hurt.

I don’t want to add to it.

I put that note on my computer screen to remind myself because sometimes I forget. Or I am too tired to absorb any more.

At this present moment in history, I’m angry too often and frustrated even more often. And I one hundred percent know that it is pointless to spend energy on things you cannot change or waste words on hearts that are not open.

But, the thing is, right now, I’m not sure what truly is within my power to change, other than my own mind.

But it won’t stop me from writing, speaking, or acting because my mind has never been clearer about what is right and what is wrong.

Too many people are acquiescing to dangerous, destructive actions happening in so many places. It seems hard to address all of it, but that’s not an excuse to address none of it.

And I get that we may be powerless.

But I also get that sometimes it is the one lone voice, the right question asked at the right moment, or the conscious personal protest that can turn a tide.

We do not have to accept anything even if we feel powerless to change it.

I’m purposefully being vague here, because what is cratering my soul this week is likely different from what is beleaguering yours. And I know I need to weigh my words. I need to not ‘fly off the handle’. This post is me pausing, breathing, not responding.

I will eventually choose my response, because if I don’t, I won’t have peace or growth or happiness. I will continue to lie awake at night wondering about the pain in my heart and the prompting in my soul.

I will PAUSE. BREATHE. And I will respond.

And respond again.

And no matter what, I will find a way to be okay with whatever comes of it.

Even if I don’t like it.

What about you? In this unusual time, are you finding ways to PAUSE, BREATHE, but more importantly, are you finding ways to respond?

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

If you like what you read and want to support my writing, consider buying me a cup of coffee.

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my twice-monthly newsletters filled with book recommendations, more stories, one truly fabulous recipe, and positive thoughts, click here.

My newest book is out! You can order a copy and support the work of Who Will Let the Dogs Out, by purchasing one directly from us here.

If you’re a dog lover, check out my other blog, Another Good Dog. And if you want to know what is really happening in the animal shelters in this country, visit, Who Will Let the Dogs Out, and subscribe to the blog I write there.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, or Substack, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.

My latest novel, Blind Turn is a mother-daughter story of forgiveness in the aftermath of a fatal texting and driving accident. It won the Womens Fiction category of the American Writing Awards. Learn more about it and find out how to get your copy here.