mindset – My Life in Paragraphs

Writing Discipline in the Chaos of Life

It’s summertime and the living is not so easy, at least in this foster dog home.

With my office cottage filled with three dogs and three puppies, plus a serious medical (possibly hospice) foster dog, my office cat Hazel, and I are both overwhelmed by the dogs, their needs, and their noise.

Which means that I am not getting a lot of writing done. Sigh.

I seem to get myself into these situations on the regular. I’m writing this from a dog bed, where I’m sitting with my Lima Bean, my foster dog who is struggling with advanced heartworm disease in addition to other serious health issues.

There are moments when I’m overwhelmed at all of it – the foster dogs, the nonprofit, our dog-friendly rental business, my writing career (or what’s left of it), and being there to support my family and friends (plus my own three dogs), not to mention my gardens (which so far this year are glorious!).

But then I consider all that is happening in our world, and remind myself that my overly full life is just so rich and I am just so dang lucky.

I used to say ‘blessed’ but I’ve grown to see that word differently these days, figuring that if I’m blessed, does that mean someone who doesn’t have as much is not blessed?

Why would I be blessed, and someone else not? I’ve never cottoned to a God who plays favorites.

I’m where I am because of circumstance, the work I’ve put in, and the decisions I’ve made. But I do believe there is also some luck, or maybe, timing, to it.

One thing I’ve learned after writing eight books is that if you wait until you have time to write, you’ll never get anything written. Which is why I’m here in this dog bed with this needy dog, finally creating a blog post.

When I have the opportunity to teach writing or coach another writer, I always advise them to ‘just write.’

Every day.

And I know there are lots of writers who pooh-pooh that advice these days, but I don’t think there is any other way to make progress. Everyone can write something, every day, even if it’s just a sentence. In fact, one-sentence journals make great stories.

So, having offered excuse after excuse for not finishing writing project after writing project in the last six months, I’ve decided to take my own medicine. I ~~plan to~~ will write every day.

Even if it’s just a blog post written from a dog bed. Even if it’s just a journal entry. Even if it’s just dictating something in a note on my phone.

No one else is going to create the time for me to write. Only I can do that. So, when I finally opened up a document to work today, and I heard Lima Bean whimpering, I unplugged my laptop and moved camp. Now, she is comforted by my side, and I am actually writing!

If you told yourself, ‘this summer I’m going to make time for my writing’ or if last January, you resolved to get something written this year, this is your wake-up call.

Carve out the time and space to write. Your soul needs it.

And maybe this world needs it. But if you find another (good) excuse today not to write, you’ll never know.

Just write.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

If you like what you read and want to support my writing, consider buying me a cup of coffee.

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my twice-monthly newsletters filled with book recommendations, more stories, one truly fabulous recipe, and positive thoughts, click here.

Who Will Let the Dogs Out book written by Cara Achterberg

My newest book is out! You can order a copy and support the work of Who Will Let the Dogs Out, by purchasing one directly from us here.

If you’re a dog lover, check out my other blog, Another Good Dog. And if you want to know what is really happening in the animal shelters in this country, visit, Who Will Let the Dogs Out, and subscribe to the blog I write there.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or Substack, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.

My latest novel, Blind Turn is a mother-daughter story of forgiveness in the aftermath of a fatal texting and driving accident. It won the Womens Fiction category of the American Writing Awards. Learn more about it and find out how to get your copy here.

What Do We Deserve?

A ferocious storm barreled through our valley this morning at 4:30. I woke to lightning flashing, thunder cracking, and rain pummeling the windows on the west side of the house.

Below the windows on that end of our bedroom, Otis was circling in his crate, banging into its sides in a panic. Fanny leaped up from where she was sleeping at my feet.

I jumped out of bed and let Otis out of the crate (he ran downstairs to his favorite spot on the couch and went back to sleep). As Fanny and I followed him down, I remembered that I’d opened a window above my desk in the cottage last night. It was warmer outside than inside, and I thought Diamond, my foster dog, would enjoy the warmer air and smells of the night. I love that view out the window above my desk to the west to the Alleghany mountains.

Now, my desk, computer, printer, notebooks, planner, and everything on my desk were soaked. I let Diamond out of her crate. She was excited to see me and danced through the puddles on the floor, immediately tracking water all over the rest of the room and up onto the futon where she settled with a bone to watch me frantically try to dry things. The only positive about the whole situation is it forced me to finally ‘mop’ the floor that was coated in a film of dust, dirt, and dog hair.

What a way to start the day.

After I made tea, did my yoga routine that is (for now) fending off the back problems that are coming for me (both parents and both brothers have had back surgery), I settled on the couch with Fanny and Otis, with Gracie farting at my feet. Every morning, I spend at least an hour, often two if I’m up early, like today, reading and journaling.

One of the books I’m reading is a memoir written by a celebrity dancer whose husband (also a celebrity dancer) committed suicide. It was free on Kindle Unlimited, and so far, it mostly felt like reading an article in People magazine (it might have been ghostwritten by a regular at People). I was almost ready to quit the book because I was disappointed in the lack of authenticity, vulnerability, or risk expected in a grief memoir. But then the author shared an exercise she used daily to motivate herself.

Each day, she wrote the phrases, “I am….”, “I have…”, and “I deserve….” And then finished them.

I pulled out my journal and started to answer those same questions. I’d been looking for a way to examine the uncertain feelings I’ve had of late about the world, what I do, my purpose here, really all of our purposes here. But those phrases and my answers left me only asking myself, “So what?”

What ‘I am’ is still a work in progress, and what ‘I have’ is unimportant. The “I deserve…” question made me angry. I’m tired of everyone, everywhere, thinking they deserve more than they receive. In some cases, maybe it’s true, but in too many, mine included, it’s blatant entitlement.

What do we deserve? Food, water, medical care, safety? Maybe. But people choose food that makes them ill and don’t want to pay for medical care, even when they can afford it.

What about love? Respect? Truth? But do we deserve these if we don’t give them in turn?

What do we deserve?

I’ve thought about that all morning. I think we all deserve the basic freedoms of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But do we still deserve those if our use of them hurts others or deprives them of those same basic rights?

Deep questions for a rainy, turbulent morning with more storms coming.

I looked at my precious, adored, spoiled dogs snuggled all around me. Do they deserve the care we give them? Most of the people in my world would resoundingly say, “Yes!” and agree that we made dogs dependent on us, so they deserve to be cared for.

Like every other essay I’ve started this week, I’m unsure where to take this one. Maybe because I don’t have the answers. My present uncertainty in so many areas is rooted in the fact that all that I believed about people, the way people should care for each other, that respect I think all human (and canine) life deserves, has been called into question in this country, and all over the world.

Why do we hurt each other?

I have always believed in our better nature. That, at their base, most people are good. I will cling to that belief, even as the news makes me not so certain anymore. We have to take care of more than ourselves. What’s the point of any of this if we don’t?

What do people deserve?

Maybe they don’t deserve our love, and maybe granting our respect is asking too much. Unalienable rights aside, though, I believe they deserve our kindness, our time, our thoughtful consideration of who they are, and the acknowledgment of the unknown battles they are certainly fighting.

Maybe instead of pondering our answers to “I am,” “I have,” and “I deserve,” we should finish the phrase, “I will…”

I will look for ways to spread light instead of darkness.

I will connect rather than disconnect.

I will help instead of hurt.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my twice-monthly newsletters filled with book recommendations, more stories, one truly fabulous recipe, and positive thoughts, click here.

My newest book is out! You can order a copy and support the work of Who Will Let the Dogs Out, by purchasing one directly from us here.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, or Substack, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.

I’m also writing on Substack. It’s a great community. Join me there – https://caraachterberg.substack.com/

My Do-not-Do List

Are you a list maker?

Me, too.

There is a tiny thrill in checking things off my list.

I draw little boxes next to each item and then make a check mark (with my red pen) when I get them done. Whatever I don’t get to, but I need to, I circle in blue. Whatever I don’t get to and probably don’t really have to (but I thought I should do when I wrote the list), or now it’s too late to do, I cross off with black pen. Anal, much? Here’s what it looks like in real time:

Buy Me a Cup of Coffee

I only made it halfway through my Bird by Bird book club. The book sits on my desk now, taunting me. You didn’t finish, you didn’t finish, what a loser, once again, you didn’t finish. Not that, for one moment, I can imagine Anne Lamott would say that to me.

In fact, she mentions several times in the book that perfection is the oppressor. Not that only making it halfway is even remotely in the same country as perfection. Still.

One Month into My 2024 Challenge

A month into my Lighten Your Load, Lighten Your Life challenge and I am feeling lighter. In lots of ways.

The group on Facebook (you can join too – click here) provides not just encouragement and inspiration, but accountability too.

To recap, in case you missed it: I challenged people to consider getting rid of a set number of things in your life every day for a year. I committed to getting rid of five things, but everyone can pick their number and some in the group chose to pick a number for each week. We’re flexible and friendly, so don’t be intimidated.

Initially, I thought the ‘things’ I would be getting rid of would be tangible items – all the crap cluttering my closets, house, office, barn, car, etc., but the group has definitely expanded that idea. Some people are clearing out their computer files, the pictures on their phones, attitudes that restrict them, rules that bind, even people that drag down their souls.

Starting the Year Off Lighter

This past week I started the Lighten Your Load, Lighten Your Life Challenge. It’s a personal challenge to remove 5 things from my life every day of 2024.

I’ve invited others to join me (and pick their own number). Together in a private Facebook group we are sharing ideas, support, and a few laughs, plus offering accountability with optional daily reports of how we’ve lightened our loads.

When I set out to do this, I expected maybe a handful of my friends might join me, and even made two friends to promise they would join, so I wouldn’t look pathetic if someone I didn’t know decided to join.

To my happy surprise, lots of people have joined the group and the number grows every day (you can join us too! Click here to read the original post and to find the link to our group). It’s been fun and inspiring to see what everyone’s unloading, plus I’ve already gotten a ton of great tips (did you know that Smartwool has a sock recycling program?).

Fully Fueled

“The brain makes up 1/50^th of our body mass but consumes a staggering 1/5^th of the calories we burn for energy.”

I read that this morning in the book, The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m not sure there’s a better argument for eating well and for managing your blood sugar.

Don’t Bet Against Me (or You)

The end of the year is just off to the left, there, in the shadows. Are you ready for it? Have you accomplished what you set out to do in 2023?

It’s not too late to throw in a few last-minute hail-Mary goals to aspire to. By my count, you’ve got more than seven weeks—that’s a lot of time. Plenty of time to establish a new habit, break an old one, wrap up a project, or at least make real progress.

This close to the finish line of 2023, I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve moved forward on all my writing projects, even if none of them have seen the publishing light of day. I’ve reestablished the discipline of writing every day, and put practices into place to protect that time. And I’m connecting with myself and the earth, every morning before anyone else (well, except the dogs) gets any of me.

There’s one goal I’m falling way behind on, but to be honest, it was a reach goal to begin with. That said, I haven’t thrown in the towel yet. I’ve got seven weeks to reach it. Seven!

Some of you might be in the same predicament. In fact, I snooped around online and discovered that while many of my friends are on target to reach their goals, plenty of others are as far behind as me or worse!

What common goal are we all striving for?

Our Goodreads goal! (Here’s where the lot of you who roll their eyes at the idea of Goodreads can take their leave—or not.)

In 2022, for the first time, I read 100 books. Actually, I’m sure I read that many books or more as a child/teen but back then there was no Goodreads or Internet or Computers…but we did have libraries, by God, with card catalogs (which were a love of mine—I’m still in search of my own card catalog. Where did they all go? What did all the libraries do with them?).

Feeling overly puffed up about reaching 100 books last January, I decided to up the ante and made my goal for 2023 112 books. That’s only one more a month. Surely, I could do that! And I had an Audible subscription, that had to count for something.

But here we are in the second week of November, and I am 14 books behind my pace, or 31 books to go to reach my goal.

That’s crazy numbers. Unless…I find a few workarounds.

How about children’s books?

Short stories?

Goodreads doesn’t define what ‘book’ means, so last night I listened to Sorry for Your Loss on Audible, which is technically a comedy show, but performed by a writer (and stand-up). It was wonderful (highly recommend it). I typed it into the search bar on Goodreads and there it was – so I marked it read. 30 to go now.

Will I make it to my goal? I’m not laying any odds on this, but it sure won’t be for lack of trying.

Because that’s what it really comes down to for me…forward progress. I am moving myself, my mind, my writing, my life forward. And that’s what matters the most.

How about you? Are you moving forward? What can you do to make that happen in seven weeks? I bet a lot.

If you’re a writer who wants help with that, consider working with me one on one. You can find more information about my 4-week coaching program here.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

My latest novel, Blind Turn is a mother-daughter story of forgiveness in the aftermath of a fatal texting and driving accident. Learn more about it and find out how to get your copy here.

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my occasional e-newsletter, click here.

And If you’re a dog lover, check out my other blog, Another Good Dog. And if you want to know what is really happening in the animal shelters in this country, visit, Who Will Let the Dogs Out.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, twitter, or Instagram, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.

My book, 100 Dogs & Counting: One Woman, Ten Thousand Miles, and a Journey Into the Heart of Shelters and Rescues is available anywhere books are sold, but if you’d like some help finding it (or want to read some lovely reviews), click here.

Move it or Lose It (Write it or Lose It)

My mother-in-law, who is 85 and still walking many miles a day, living on her own, volunteering at the library, traveling, and actively participating in her community’s life, likes to say “Move it or lose it.” And it rings so true, especially as I find myself shockingly almost old enough for the senior discount.

Of late I’ve realized that move it or lose it also is true of writing. If you want to be a writer, you have to keep writing. You can’t take a week or a month or a year off.

Why?

Be Here Now

I’ve been thinking a lot about living intentionally.

Partially because ten years ago I wrote a book called, Live Intentionally.

I’ve thought about updating it and releasing a ten-year anniversary book. As I’ve read back through some of it, I see a glimpse of who I was and how clearly I have grown. I’m still just as much an idealist. I still believe in people and their power to improve their lives through intentionality.

Much of what I wrote I still practice. But the world is different now. Incredibly different! There was no ‘social media’ then, at least not in the form it is now. Facebook was out there, but the internet was not on every phone. There was no organic aisle in the grocery store, and most people had no concept of what ‘grass-fed’ meant, and keeping chickens or hanging your clothes on a line to dry was not a hip thing to do. (Not sure those things are hip now either, but at least a lot more people are doing them.)

This year I’ve returned to my focus of living intentionally every day – not just what I eat or read or watch, but how I think, treat people, react to news, and decide how to spend my time. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been setting daily intentions and sharing them on Facebook and Instagram. Here are a few from this week:

They provide an anchor for my day. I’ve been reading farther and wider, consuming podcasts on mindset, refocusing on how I care for my body, and giving my mind and heart more space and quiet to consider what really matters moment by moment. More than anything I’ve been trying to stay present.

Recently, I heard a concept called ‘day-tight compartments’ originally a principle promoted by Dale Carnegie to combat worry. The idea is that you stay in today, and don’t let what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow affect how you are today.

Many of us let regrets from our past follow us, bringing with them shame, guilt, sadness, hurt, and fear. We experience it over and over. I replay conversations and actions in my head, often wishing I’d done something (or someone else had) differently. I’ll follow the what ifs down a rabbit hole only to emerge freshly disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, and realize it changes nothing.

The same with worrying. I’m a mom, so it comes with the territory, right? My youngest parroted something back to me that I used to have as a mantra – No sense in wasting emotion on something that hasn’t happened yet. Why feel sadness/fear/anger about something that might happen—if it doesn’t you’ve experienced sadness/fear/anger for no reason. And if it does, you can feel those things then.

Stay present in your daytight container. Seal that lid tight like a Tupperware container and stay inside it. Be here now. Listen to the people in front of you. Feel whatever is in your heart in response to what is happening right now. You can’t change what’s already happened or control what might. Don’t squander your present.

Dogs are a great reminder of this philosophy. They are always in the moment. Reacting and reveling in what is happening now. Gracie never worries about how angry I’ll be that she rolled in the dead possum/rabbit poop/unidentifiable stink, she just enjoys her time rolling and stinking in the moment. Otis never considers that last week when he stood barking for ten minutes at the neighbors having a BBQ, I dragged him back to the house and left him inside alone, he barks his heart out anew. Clearly, enjoying the sound of his voice.

Sure, we should learn from what has happened in the past. But that doesn’t mean now isn’t a new scenario, one that is best experienced fresh with no assumptions that what has happened before will happen again. Give this moment, right now, your energy, your focus. Don’t let regret or worry color it.

Keep your eyes open and your ears available. The possibilities are endless if you’re open to the possibilities. Make room in your heart for now.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you’ve got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

My latest novel, Blind Turn is a mother-daughter story of forgiveness in the aftermath of a fatal texting and driving accident. Learn more about it and find out how to get your copy here.

If you’re curious about what else I’m up to, check out my website, CaraWrites.com.

If you’d like to subscribe to my occasional e-newsletter, click here.

And If you’re a dog lover, check out my other blog, Another Good Dog. And if you want to know what is really happening in the animal shelters in this country, visit, Who Will Let the Dogs Out.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, twitter, or Instagram, and I’m thrilled to get email from readers (and writers), you can reach me at carasueachterberg@gmail.com.